Grooming and enticement

Grooming is best understood as a pattern and a purpose, not a single behaviour. Many actions used in grooming — attention, kindness, mentoring, gifts or frequent communication — can also occur in healthy relationships. The concern is how those actions are combined with a power imbalance, boundary violations, secrecy, sexualization, coercion or efforts to reduce the child’s access to protection.

What it can look like

• Creating a believable peer identity or presenting as a trusted, helpful adult.
• Offering intense attention, emotional support, gifts, money, status or opportunities.
• Learning about conflict, loneliness, identity, family stress or other vulnerabilities and using that information to deepen dependence.
• Gradually introducing sexual jokes, questions, images or conversations to test and normalize boundaries.
• Moving communication to private or disappearing-message channels.
• Encouraging secrecy, portraying safe adults as controlling, or creating an ‘us against them’ relationship.
• Using guilt, threats, intimidation, recorded content or fear of exposure to maintain control.

Online, offline and blended grooming

Grooming does not occur only online and does not require a stranger. It may involve a family member, acquaintance, peer, coach, educator, volunteer, faith leader or other person with access to a child. Digital communication can extend an existing offline relationship, create private access outside supervised settings or allow an offender to impersonate a peer. In some cases the person also grooms parents, caregivers or organizations by appearing exceptionally trustworthy and useful.

How it overlaps with the other categories

Grooming may lead to luring, requests for sexual content, the production of CSAEM, an attempted meeting or sextortion. The categories describe different parts of a pathway: grooming is the manipulative process; luring is a specific Canadian offence; sextortion is a coercive method; CSAEM is prohibited material; and AI may be used to create or alter content or strengthen a threat.

Impacts on children and families

A child may continue communicating, defend the person, hide what happened or appear to have participated. These reactions can reflect manipulation, fear, attachment, shame or an effort to regain control. They do not make the child responsible. Families may experience shock, guilt, anger and uncertainty, especially when the suspected person was trusted. Support should focus first on safety, belief and connection — not punishment or interrogation.

What adults can do

• Create regular, non-judgmental opportunities for children to discuss online and offline relationships.
• Focus on boundary-crossing patterns rather than treating one behaviour as proof.
• If a child discloses, remain calm, listen, avoid blame and record the child’s words accurately.
• Do not conduct a covert investigation or confront the suspected person. Preserve safe contextual information and report the concern.
• In Ontario, contact a children’s aid society when there are reasonable grounds to suspect a child is or may be in need of protection; contact police or Cybertip.ca for online sexual exploitation concerns.